is the grass any bluer...

is the grass any bluer...
on the other side?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Time May Change Me, but I Can't Change Thyme

My sister Kelli, my gorgeous niece, Jessica Pearl and me.
Kelli continues to show me the smiles in life; and JayPearlz
is simply a shining light of talent, beauty and smarts...and
I love them both dearly.  Thanks be!  
A pastor friend of mine has gently suggested that I embrace the changes that are going on within my existence, so I'm going to attempt to share only good thoughts about the shifting sands of my life from hereon out.  

I'll start with saying that although I am experiencing a time of loss to some degree - mostly having to do with the lack of regular income -- I am realizing very quickly how near and dear my friends and family are to me.  I always thought I was fairly appreciative before, but that old saying is true: a friend in need is a friend, indeed.  

This is my BFF, Tom Bragg, who keeps
making plans to form a duet with me and
travel the world. Someday, I hope we will!
Meanwhile, hide your kids,
hide your tequila!
I'll be honest with you. When I was younger, I sort of scoffed at that little pearl of wisdom.  I thought that a needy person was not a wanted person, and that although I wanted to help those who needed my assistance, that I never wanted to be that needy person.  I wanted to be the giver, not the taker. I wanted to take the credit, not the debit.  I wanted to have people thanking me, not me having to thank them.  

However, lambchops, sometimes God has to hit me over the head with a sprig of parsley for me to have the right amount of clarity involved for a true epiphany.  I have scrimped and saved and done the $1 burger route for months now, and all I had to show for it was an increasing waistline and high blood pressure.  The avenues I've taken to cope with less than sufficient funds have led me down some dark paths, yes, but truthfully, all I ever needed to do was look inside to find what I needed.  I'm a good cook. I'm fairly smart. I can find inexpensive and healthy ways to cook for myself and provide nourishment without eating crappy fatty food, and I can also find the love I desire if I just accept that which is given to me with regularity by those who surround me with their generous presence.  My high school friends, choir buddies, sisters, and yes, you, dear reader -- all of you have shown me that what I have to say here might just brighten your day every now and then, and that I ought not go gently into that Insight good night.  And so, I'm not.  I made a great pasta dish tonight called Spaghetti Aglio Olio, it cost all of $5 to make enough to feed Cox's army, and I have received so many affirmations of love and encouragement from folks today, that I feel somewhat ashamed I've not realized all along that I'm okay. And I'm going to be okay.  I just need to hold on to my heart, to my faith and to my fellow art lovers and activism-doers.  
When trouble comes, hang in there!
(and find a limb to hold onto :)

So, I am reminded tonight of a wonderful hymn that is entitled In Remembrance of Me.  The one line that always gets to me, and I can never quite sing very robustly due to emotion, is the last line, the one which says, "don't look above, but in your heart, look for God."  

I'm going to type in the text to that hymn below. It's a communion hymn, so we sing it a lot in our church during the breaking of the bread and pouring of the wine.  I hope it brings meaning to your day ;-)  

In Remembrance Of Me

In remembrance of me, eat this bread.
In remembrance of me, drink this wine.
In remembrance of me, pray for the time, 
when God's own will is done.

In remembrance of me, heal the sick.
In remembrance of me, feed the poor.
In remembrance of me,
open the door and let your neighbor in...let them in.

Take, eat, and be comforted;
drink and remember too.
That this is my body and precious blood,
shed for you...shed for you.

In remembrance of me, search for truth.
in remembrance of me, always love.
In remembrance of me, don't look above,
but in your heart...look for God.

Do this is remembrance of me."
People like Dana Edison continue to bless my life with hugs
like this.  I'm very fortunate to have folks like Dana in my life!

Thanks to Rev. Johns for pointing out the Light to me today and inspiring me to write about the transition I'm enduring.  Thanks to any of you who have ever "liked" what I say here or anywhere else, who re-tweet or repeat the conversation I have with myself here.  

And thanks be to God.  
Another blessing - Allie Darden and
her Cosmopolitan way of sipping
joy from the cup of life.  Cheers!  

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