It is early in the morning, the cold snap has finally broken and it is going up into the 50° territory today! I have been very depressed the past month or so, and this will be a post that nobody is going to actually like, I apologize in advance and ask you to forgive me now.
I'm feeling really depressed today. My sister Kelli has asked me to find opiates for her, and if I don't raise mountains and shit watermelons to accommodate her, she has a psychotic fit...feels like a personal vendetta is necessary after I refuse to get dope for her, and then she turns into the worst enemy anybody could ever think to have.
About five years ago, she had a dope hissy and told our older sister Karen everything I ever said about her in her entire life, told her anything she could to hurt Karen, and make her realize that I am not the sweet and loving person that I appear to be LOL. After that happened Karen had a stroke.
Actually, she told her some things that Kelli had come up with herself over the years, but I am not going to do a tit-for-tat argument with Karen over something Kelli said. This she said she said she said crapola has got to end, and I'm goin to end it. I just told Karen I had nothing to discuss that Kelli had said to her.
That whole sitch has turned into me being the worst person in the world. When Karen had a stroke a few years ago, nobody told me, nobody updated me, and nobody cared that I was worried to death. I went to St Jude in 1988 with her son for him to take radiation treatment, I was there when she had fat reduction surgery and needed a companion in the hospital, I was there when Karen got out of the hospital just before I gave birth in 1973, and I have been a good sister to her, despite the conflicts that happened over our many years together.
I will also say Karen has been my lifelong bully, and the instances are too numerous to mention at this time. I have not made love to any of her boyfriends or husbands, or stolen from her, or left her at a strange location, helpless, but those are all things that Karen is done to me, and they are not easily forgiven.
At any rate, Kelli has always wanted to be more of a "normal" sibling, when in fact, she was a very sick child, who required an inordinate amount of attention from our mother and father. She has always been spoiled in that way, and she uses it today to get power in however twisted way possible.
It has happened a dozen times in our lifetime, and this time, I'm afraid I am going to have to remove myself from the situation entirely.
Kelli was born with a heart defect, and she was my baby sister so I always protected and watched out for her in regard to her safety and well-being.
If Kelli got a cold, I had to help make sure she got into a vapor tent and underwent a treatment at home for the next week or so. She easily caught pneumonia, because her pulmonary valve was insufficient.
She was a sick child, and I loved and loved my sister, but over the years she became hardened and went to prison and did some bad things. When she got out about 10 years ago, I was thrilled to death to see her, however she asked me to give her money, which I gave her my last $50, and then she proceeded to trash me all over town after that.
It has been a disappointment, trying to be a good sister to my sister who doesn't want to reconcile her true feelings with me.
I am moving back home soon, though, and there are people who love me there. I know there are people who care for me here in Lexington, but they're not family and
blood anyway.
I love every one of you reading this, and please please say a prayer for peace today.
Kimmy
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