Pardon my absence, but sometimes I find myself in a questionable mood; more of an observer than a participant in life. I've been wickedly but happily haunted by memories this week, and one thing has led to another, memory-wise, that is.
You see, it seems as if everywhere I turn, I am finding reminders of my Mother, who left this life 23 years ago this Summer. I miss her, I'm mad at her for not being here, I want to hear her spoil my father's jokes by telling the punchline ahead of time, I would love to make her dinner and a martini...and I guess all of this is to say for some reason, right here, right now, I really, really want my Mommy, so maybe I just find reminders of her reflected in all I see and do.
For example, a girl I work with and adore reminds me so much of my Mother, I love it. She resembles my Mom's family, she's sharp, witty and has the same sense of humor, and sage advice to give from her deep reserve of wisdom, even though she's barely 30. She is also, like my Mom, from eastern Kentucky...maybe that's why I see the resemblance. So, Pearl was on my mind already, just as she always is, but particularly of late, and I don't really know why.
Her presence really made itself known to me, though last week at Natasha's Balagula Theatre, One Flea Spare, and it has caused me to think about my mother, too. Within this play is a thought-provoking, but subliminal whisper that you cannot hear right away or may not recognize until you get some distance from it. Accordingly, It has caused me consider some issues I haven't processed in a while. For example, in Flea, there is a character who labored in the coal mines, and my grandpa died in the coal mines when my Mommy was so young, I never got to meet him. Losing her father at such an early age left an immeasurable impact on her; and coincidentally, my Dad's dad died young too...
Also in the play there is a woman who is badly scarred on the front of her body, and that disfigurement plays a role on her character in the show, and the way her scenes were portrayed were not over-done, but profoundly moving. And again, it's all about me, and what that made me reflect upon. It made me re-live my mother's tale of how she had been burnt in a similar fashion when her housecoat caught flame from a campfire when she was a teenager. She barely survived, spent 81 days in a coma...but she had a huge burn mark on the front of her body. I had not thought about any of that in a long time...so the feelings that One Flea Spare brought to the surface have left me in a contemplative, melancholic mood.
Mom would tell us so many stories about living in coal camps, living in poverty during the Depression. She talked a lot of the day she learned the roof of the mine had fallen in on her daddy, how she went out to the garden, which had been muddy, and she could see the prints from his boots still in the mud from that morning; and she stepped into his footprints to feel his presence, and that was the most comfort she could find at that terrible moment of grief.
Well, I can't step into my daddy's shoes, or my granddaddy's garden, but I can walk in the footprints of my Father. I also believe in God the Mother, and that I can seem comfort in Her strength as well...when I 'anchor in the vale.' So I'll hush about being so sad about losing my parents, but will leave with you some of the experience I had today in worship:
My choir sang a gorgeous anthem today, a Passacaglia of Praise. The anthem is described it this way, "A passacaglia is a baroque music form in moderately slow triple meter consisting of continuous variation based on a clearly defined melodic phrase which usually appears in the bass. The never-ending quality of the passacaglia enriches the thrust of this anthem's text, provided by Fanny Crosby. When we lift our voices in praise we join in the praise of history, the past and future, and the praise of the heavenly realm which is beyond time and space - praise rooted in eternity."
"I will praise Thee, O my Savior,
Here are the words:
PASSACAGLIA OF PRAISE
"I will praise Thee, O my Savior,
I will magnify thy name;
Yea, my heart and tongue rejoicing,
Thy salvation shall proclaim.
I will praise Thee, o my Savior,
and Thy Wondrous Love recall;
Thou hast covered my transgression
by Thy off'ring once for all.
For Thy gift by faith that saves me,
Precious gift of grace so free.
Shall my soul pour out its fullness
in a grateful song to Thee.
Thou has covered my transgressions
With Thy righteousness divine.
Through Thy mercy, I was pardoned,
Cleansed, and made a child of Thine.
I will praise Thee,
O my Savior,
Till my mortal powers shall fail;
Then in nobler strains I'll praise Thee
When I anchor in the vale."
I will also leave you with a prayer we shared today in worship:
God, who appeared in cloud and fire,
reveal yourself to us this day.
Hear us as we offer our worship.
Lead us so that we might know your ways.
Let us take this time to stop our daily tasks
and reflect upon your goodness.
Help us see your glory,
in the dawn of this new day.
For all you who are still reading my ramblings here, thanks thanks thanks. I know there are lots of plays, art exhibits, poetry readings, activist events, concerts, and goings-on that I am missing and not covering here in Kimmyville, and for that, I am truly sorry, but I have been terribly awfully busy with work and choir...I run out of time and scramble to get stuff posted from time to time, though and am eternally grateful for people who let me ask them questions at the last second who respond promptly so I can post about them before opening night. Along those lines, let me just say that I hope you will get out to see Blithe Spirit at Woodford Theatre that opens soon, The 39 Steps at Studio Players (which my BFF Tom Bragg saw and has raved about), Ruined by the great folks at BCTC, and see what murderous mischief Fantastical Theatricals is up to and Bluegrass Mystery Tour cast of characters. You can also hear/see/experience Peter Frampton at EKU in a few weeks, check out Troubadour for details. OH oh OH! and Romeo & Juliet presented by UK Opera, with a fabulous cast that includes Manuel Castillo (yay) and lots of other familiar voices. And yes, folks, then there's WoodSongs on Monday nights, all sort of fantastic music in Chevy Chase every weekend, and oh my golly gosh gumpdrops, Keeneland opens in just a few weeks!
And basketball :)
It's a great time to be grateful in the Bluegrass, lambchops. Go see the plays that these people are working so hard to get from page to stage for you. Go see these bands who work up terrific numbers for your listening enjoyment.
peace to everyone,
PS - I'm glad I wrote myself out of my doldrums, aren't you? :)