The weather inside my soul didn't sleep well last night, and today wasn't all that sunny for me, either. As I went through my tasks to prepare for tomorrow's Easter performances, choir brunch, and family dinner, one thing after another kept going awry, all issues that are simply too trivial to describe, but added up, they made for quite the stormy day. It wasn't all bad, grant you. I did get a lot accomplished, but nothing went smoothly...my inner weather today was more of scattered showers with a dollop of sunshine every now and then. Just when I thought I'd found hope, more doubt would creep into my thinking. Technical glitches glitched. I was grouchy, mean, bitter, unreasonable -- I was letting Chaos win the day...still have a long way to go before Easter Sunday, somewhere on the other side of the sunset.
Maybe today has been purposely challenging so I will so much more appreciate what sacrifice was made for me. I need to focus on God's gift of his only Son who came and died so that I may be redeemed and forgiven.
I may not feel all that well, finances may be iffy, and I miss my family, especially my parents, but I'm alive, I am not hungry, and I enjoy close friendships and the music that I make...so yeah, I have a lot of reasons to be thankful. Yet I still allow myself to dwell on issues that I ought not and I am not as thankful as I should be. Things go wrong and I don't always react in a kind manner. I have not been a faithful servant, but rather have been self centered.
I wish I could close this blog with some witty insightful conclusion, but for now, I am just going to have to settle for being unsettled. However, while I was writing this, my alarm clock went off...the alarm is the sound of a rooster crowing. I let it crow for the entire minute and didn't even attempt to silence it.
Irony is not lost, after all.
So, I need to shut the heck up and color some eggs, make the sausage balls for tomorrow's brunch, and thank the Lord for the promise that is not vain, and morn shall tearless be.