Keeping the Faith

At some point in our lives, we have to forgive the same sin over and over again. It doesn't mean we're pushovers, but yes, sometimes the same slight can happen again and again, and if we care enough about the relationship, we have to care enough to confront, and then forgive and let the healing begin.

(photo courtesy of the ever lovely Allie Darden)

Confrontation takes all your focus, all your senses, and a good night's sleep.  I recommend if you want to confront someone who hurts you, that you sleep on your hurt before you confront that person.  If they text you and wake you up, ignore them until you've had time to consider what is going on in their world. They could be suffering from a burden we may never know...so yeah, it's a good idea to take your time getting angry.

A few days ago, I was put to the test. And I failed. I'm not happy that I turned ugly on a friend, but really and truly, I had just about all I could take.  With little sleep and a lot of anger being fired my way, I defended myself, said some really cruel things, and then proceeded to cry for the next two days.

I don't recommend this. Your face will swell up and people will mistake you for Rosie O'Donnell.  Your countenance will be such that even if your nice-as-can-be new friends want have their photo taken with you, you will look bloated and ... well, you will look like you feel, which is hurt. And that sucks.

Don't let your heart be hardened, though, stick with the people who are good to you, and good FOR you.  I'm very lucky, because I have pals who will come to my rescue, and some of my new friends  and I went to have cocktails at Buddy's last night before seeing Wait Until Dark and I felt the love, let me just tell you.  I was sad, feverish, looking like the big crybaby that I am, and they embraced me anyway. Isn't that the definition of friends? Those who know us but love us anyway?  It's good to hang with people who sincerely cared about what was going on with me, and accept me as I am, because, well, I'm a lot of fun to hang around with, dammit! 

I do, however, suggest 'nipping it in the bud,' as Barney Fife would say.  Don't let the erosion continue in a friendship until your nerves are raw.  Go ahead, realize the consequences, care enough to confront and then, if the situation remains unchanged...cut bait.  Otherwise, you will lose respect for yourself, and that, my lambchops, is the worst offense of all.

pray for peace,

kimmy