Care Givers and Care Receivers

by Kim Thomas

When I lost my father in 1997 after his courageous struggle with cancer, I found that my life was missing something, even though my faith was stronger than ever. I wanted to serve, to give, to embrace and show kindness to someone who may not otherwise feel as if they were worthy of the love and peace of God.

I traveled down several spiritual avenues in search for the answer to that calling, but after a year or so of taking communion to those who were homebound or hospitalized, singing hymns at bedsides, and praying with people of all sorts who were in need of prayer, I still felt as if I could do more. I was profoundly compelled to help people who are in transition, whether that be from this life to the next, from married to being single, from having a job to being without a source of income or to losing everything they owned in a poor economy - and I soon learned that there are many ways in which we grieve, there are many shifting sands in the lives of those who we see every day. I came to realize the possibilities to help -- to lend a helping hand, a shouder to cry on, to be a spiritual presence to those in need -- are simply limitless.

So here I was, wandering about in the wilderness, to to speak, when a friend pointed me in the direction of a Disciples of Christ church (I had grown up in Florence Christian Church, a Disciples church -- this is the 'liberal' branch of the Christian Church movement that began only miles away from Lexington in Cane Ridge, Kentucky). The church my friend told me about was Central Christian Church, and I soon became a member of the wondrous group known as the Chancel Choir (they rise to every occasion where kind and giving hearts are needed). In fact, when I joined the church, I was in my choir robe! After that, it was not long before I was approached by my choir buddy and Stephen Leader Ann Kercheval to become a Stephen Minister. I underwent intenstive training and was commissioned in May of 1999. Since then, my life has been transformed in a wonderful way by Stephen Ministry.

Stephen Ministry is a lay ministry for people who are commit to having a caring relationship with an appointed care receiver. The Care Receivers are matched up with Stephen Ministers by the Stephen Leaders, and the Stephen Minister and the Care Receiver meet once a week. What goes on from there is something that is mysterious and wonderful. Care Receivers are encouraged to say whatever they want to say, and as a Stephen Minister, I do not judge them, I am simply there to support them and be a spiritual presence. I told my Leaders after all the training was complete that the motto should be, "Just shut up and Listen!" but that's not necessarily a motto that SM would accept :) The point is that we don't finish our care receivers' sentences; we simply allow them to talk about how they feel and help them move through the stages of grief and loss. Without judgment. That's very, very important to remember.

My experience as a Stephen Minister has given me the opportunity to meet beautiful souls, people who are going through a difficult time in their lives, and usually -- in my role as a Stephen Minister -- these care receivers are suffering from a terminal illness. Hence, I have walked a handful of my care receivers Home, a journey that for some reason God has given me the strength to witness. He grants me the ability to travel with them, gives me the right words to say, the prayers that are needed, and the opportunity to witness their courage and hope for the Light that will endure forever.

If you or someone you love is grieving over the loss of a job, a relationship, a loss of health or any kind of transition, please consider seeking out the resources available to you through a Stephen Minister. Below is information from the Stephen Ministry website. Stephen Ministry is now a worldwide Christian effort, and is used in all Christian churches, both Protestant and Catholic. I hope you will find this information useful; and if you have any questions, please feel free to comment and I will help you all I can.

Pray for peace--Kimmy

http://www.stephenministries.org/

The Stephen Series is a complete system for training and organizing lay people to provide one-to-one Christian care to hurting people in and around your congregation.

The Stephen Series provides congregations with the structure, training, and resources to set up and administer a complete system for lay caring ministry (called Stephen Ministry) in the congregation. In Stephen Ministry congregations, lay caregivers (called Stephen Ministers) provide one-to-one Christian care to the bereaved, hospitalized, terminally ill, separated, divorced, unemployed, relocated, and others facing a crisis or life challenge. Stephen Ministry helps pastors and congregations provide quality caring ministry for as long as people need it.